Thank you so much for taking the time to respond. Have a wonderful weekend.

shirley buxton
http://www.shirleybuxton.wordpress.com

much love
Net-Hetep

but i’m loving the feel of it though!!!

Having experience as a member of the clergy, I also recognize that the pedophile issue is not reserved to the teachers in our secular schools. It is also a prevailing issue in the church amonst those who teach God’s children. So based on that, i can speak comfortable with you about my observations and opinions on the subject.

Touchy as it is, child abuse has always been a problem in society. But we have not always had access to the types of statistical data we have today. That being said, we must not allow emotions and passions to cloud our judgement. Is the occurances of child abuse, particularly, child RAPE, increasing in percentage proportional the population growth? Or is it more a case of greater numbers because of a growing population?

These are the types of things that perhaps government can track and use to solicate funding for increased legislation against criminal acts against children and prosecuting the offenders. If Americans were confronted with rational and real information, including numbers that can’t be refuted, then politicians would be urged by the people they represent to do something to change things.

Fair and equal punishment under the law is a beginning point. Why should anyone, black, white, male, female, or even another child be given SLACK for hurting or killing a child? And why should an act of RAPE against a child carry less punishment than an act of rape against a grown woman? RAPE is RAPE. Let’s throw out the use of molestation. That term only weakens the impact of how the act is percieved by too many people. Let’s call a spade a spade, and in this case a child molestor is a CHILD RAPIST!

The punishment should be firm. Barring the presence of a mental health issue, offenders regardless to the “circumstances” need to serve time. No more probation, no more 6 months in the county and a year of therapy. No more slaps on the wrist for victimizers and slaps to the face of victims. A RAPIST teacher, preacher, parent, whoever it might be, needs to go to JAIL. And while they are there, they need to exposed to countlesshours of first hand testimonials from victims concerning the impact and effect RAPE has upon a persons life. States should enact and create programs whereby the victims will be compensated both financially and emotionally by being paid to appear before their victimizers and/or other offenders and sharing their experiences. Relaying their pain. And allowing the anguish to be laid squarely where it belongs, on the back of the ones who gave it to them.

How many lives could be changed by this type of therapy? For one, victims would no longer have to feel powerless. They’d be empowered to educate people and share their story. They’d be empowered economically, especially those with poor financial backgrounds, because instead of having to pay lawyers and file suits to get civil judgments to compensate for REAL fiscal damages, monies would be made available to ALL victims. Those who willingly made themselves available to go into the prisons and confront violent offenders with a dose of reality would be compensated with extra pay. But all victims would be compensated…period. And rather than have wounded souls who can’t afford to get needed psychological help, we’d have a system in place whereby those who are hurt can reasonably expect to be able to pay for the care needed to recover from such painful crimes as rape.

But these are just my opinions about what might need to be done. I know it’s all imaginary on my part. In my mind, people who did others wrong would pay dearly to make it right. Unfortunately, that’s just in my mind I guess.

I’m very sensitve to whole child abuse/rape topic. Very very sensitive. And very emotional about it. There was so many incidences of rape that I can say I either heard about or knew about growing up. Too many involving teachers and preachers. Which is why I don’t necessarily think the problem is a growing issue. I think it’s one that remains as HUGE today as it was back in the 70’s when I was a child. The difference is, today we have MySpace, Facebook, Blackplanet, etc. and so forth.

We have web communities. We have access to all types of communication between adults and children, children and adults. And the problem is, unless you are assisting a child and/or mentoring them then as an adult you need to limit your activities and exposer to kids. Preachers, back in the day when I was a child, who molested, were always the ones who took extra time and spent extra effort on being around and in the company of the children.

So that is another part of the issue, how much do we leave our children to be around adults who have no emotional tie to them? People who do not care for my child, need not CARE for my child. And i do mean care…not affectionate concern for getting at my child’s body!

As a minister, who frequents MySpace and other online people connect communities, I observe people’s behavior. I take note of who people socialize with, who they talk to, how old their acquaintances and associates are in general and what types of messages they post and what types of behavior they promote. Too often, I notice men and women of a very mature status making overtures and advances sexually towards young impressionable children. While in most cases, those children may be 17-18, and maybe legal to fraternize with under the laws of various states, it doesn’t matter! If you’re in the habit of enticing teenagers to meet you and/or to hang out, go to the mall, you’re buying clothes and letting them play dress up so you can take pictures because you’re a “photographer”; then guess what, you’re a parasite. And I find that many people who wouldn’t dare RAPE a child, don’t mind setting up a child to be raped by someone else.

By sociallizing and encouraging kids to trust strange adults, men and women who do nothing more than talk and have fun with underaged children inappropiately are reenforcing to these kids that its okay to open themselves up to other grown ups in ways that a child should NEVER trust a non-parent or non-caretaker. Teachers should never ever make it their habit of buying gifts for one child or one student, and/or cultivating relationships outside of the teacher student concept. No child should ever be taken on as a “pet student” who get’s special treatment, i.e., going home with the teacher after school and being treated more maturely than they ought to be treated.

Even where there is no sexually improper conduct or contact, some relationships and some interactions are HARMFUL.

Children then to be creatures of habit. If there are trained right, they will go in the right way more often than not. My question is, are we truly doing enough to train our kids to avoid contact with potential pedophiles and when they do come in to contact with potential rapist do they recognize them for who they are? Will my child come to me and tell me, “Daddy, that man at church offered me candy and told me I could have it if I just sat on his lap?” Or will they take that candy and trust someone who may or may not have inappropiate thoughts and desires because they’ve been trained to trust the wrong people?

The INTERNET is not my nanny! Parents need to start raising their children like momma and daddy’s use to bring up kids. Meaning, there should be lots of family time together and less time for children to be alone, occupied by video games and the internet. I hate it when I see children online and there’s no parent sitting at the computer with them or even in the room. Maybe not even a parent in the house. If I had a dollar for the times children contacted me online, children sent me messages, and initiated communications with me while they were unsupervised and on the internet! God, young children. Not teenagers, 11-12 y/o kids. Where’s the love when mom and dad don’t care enough to make sure they are making their children feel abandoned? How many children initiate contact with their own eventual rapists, unknowningly? A child can never be blamed for the actions of an adult. So parents, who is to blame when your child reaches out to a grown man or woman because you’re too busy dating or mating or just making money to be available to your family?

Work days should be shortened to an average of 6 hrs. instead of 8. To make up for the shorter work hours, increased hourly wages needed to be set forth. Parents need to be given more time to BE WITH THEIR KIDS. And children with their parents. School days shouldn’t be any longer than 6 hrs too. With the advent of broadband internet, who needs to be in a classroom 7-8 hrs. anyway? Many lessons and/or classes could be offered as home schooled courses. And parents would then be encouraged to interact and be included in their child’s education with firsthand experience. Homework could literally be just that, home work! More time available to parents and children to be together would mean less opportunity for (non-family) preditors to access our children. And more time for parents to train their kids!

Basic things need to be enforced in our children’s minds. Simple priniciples like, beware of grown ups who encourage you to keep secrets or to not tell anybody. It’s a common fact, pedophiles cultivate and develope relationships with most of their victims in order to train them how to act after the rape begins to take place. And one thing that is imperative to be taught is how to be silent and keep things to ones self. If we train our children to recognize their rights to speak up and advise them to do so whenever someone tries to encourage them to keep things hidden, how would that change the way pedophiles operate and how often they are caught before they rape our children?

The problem with teachers and people in positions of power is tht they are people we do tend to train our children to trust, blindly. And therefore, they often need not cultivate that trust with the child because it’s already there. Same thing with preachers. We teach our kids that it’s okay to take candy from Pastor John. Yet, it’s not okay when it’s that strange guy standing around the swings at the park. No, no, no! We must train our children better. Teachers are not to be blindly trusted, neither are preachers. People are people, no matter what title they wear. And a pedopile by any other name is still a rapist of children, even if he wears a clerical collar.

How do we go about training out kids to evaluate and determine just what level of trust to give teachers and people of that nature? Well, we must train them concerning boundaries. Trust your teacher when it comes to him or her teaching you math, english, etc. But beware of your teacher when they go out of the way to introduce subject matter not even relative to what’s going on or to the class. Older kids can be very observant. And we can be assured that if we train them, they will pick up on things that aren’t right with a pedophile teacher. A teacher who compliments you for being neat and clean is one thing. A teacher who stares at your butt and comments on your anatomy or how your jeans fit is another! A child should never be trained to just ignore obviously wrong behavior or speech. A child should never be obligated to blindly trust and/or accept that teachers always have their best interests at heart.

Okay…I’m going on and on. This is way more than I intended to write. But I told you, I have a passion for children and for the plight of the countless victims of child abuse. While my mother and father were both supportive and caring of their children, I knew kids who weren’t so blessed. And I knew kids who didn’t have parents to train them in terms of recognizing danger and avoiding it. So they didn’t. Years and years later, many of those same people are parents of abused children themselves because they got caught up in a loop of abuse that doesn’t end until victims find closure.

Upon conclusion, I say, we need to do WAY WAY MORE than just shake our heads and talk about what we hate! We need to hate the crime and do something about it. Proactivity is enjoined to us. When it comes to children being raped by whoever, teacher, preacher, it doesn’ t matter; somebody needs to advocate and stand up for that child. And we need more willing participants in a both the political arena and on the home front to say, I will be a voice against child abuse.

I came across your number recently and was wandering what was going on with my H-town sista (lol). Good to be back in touch.

God bless!!!
Queen