Introduction
Our children are crying out for help. You can look on any teen pregnancy website and they highlight the decline in teen pregnancies. Still more teens get pregnant every year America than in any other developed country. Most parents don’t want to admit that their child is sexually active. Therefore, many find themselves dealing with the repercussions of their child’s decision. The decision that the child is not experienced enough to make.
Over the past few months we have heard several cases about young mothers giving birth and trying to dispose of the fetus or child. Just this week we heard about a fourteen year old disposing of a fetus while on an airplane. Another teen had her baby in a bathroom stall at school. With all of the uproar in the media, one would think there would be more research, awareness and solutions offered. Yet, all I hear is how awful it is.
People like it or not, we have a problem. These teens may be facing criminal charges, because of their poor choices. Unfortunately, hiding teen pregnancies are nothing new. Women have been concealing pregnancies for years. That includes those that get shipped away until they give birth. It just seems to be appearing in the media more often.
But there’s more……When a teen mother conceals her pregnancy, she unknowingly places herself and her unborn baby at risk for health issues and even death. Parents, educators, communities….it is important that teens understand how unhealthy and risky it is to conceal a pregnancy. If a teen mother is hiding her pregnancy, she may not feel obligated to adjust her life styles by eating healthy meals, making doctor visits or taking prenatal vitamins, which could lead to more problems in the future.
Personal Story
I was pregnant at the age of seventeen years old and I didn’t know that I was pregnant until I was at the end of my first trimester. Being a high school senior at the time, I can tell you that hearing the news “you’re pregnant” was the most devastating and life changing moment of my life. At that time, I was a majorette, drill team and preparing to run for school queen. In a matter of seconds, I felt like my life was over. I was overwhelmed by unexplainable emotions.
Plus I was already having problems at home, so I was afraid to tell my mother or other family members about the baby. To make matters worst, the doctor warned me that I had a limited amount of time to make a decision about whether I was going to keep my baby.
Well, I decided to keep my son but my mother did not learn that I was pregnant until a week and a half before I gave birth. Of course she was devastated when my water broke, because she thought I was having a miscarriage. For a moment, I thought I was too. She and the whole community were shocked to learn that I had carried my son nearly nine months and no one was the wiser.
That was in 1985, and teens hiding pregnancies is even more common today. I shared that information, because I understand how difficult it may be for some teens to deal with adult decisions. No, I don’t recommend that anyone deal with their pregnancy in that way. It is a very dangerous and lonesome world. Honestly, I don’t know what I would have done had I been in that situation at the time, especially since no one knew about my pregnancy. I was just sitting back thinking about the issue and realized that it could have been me.
With that being said, I have to speak up. I am merely highlighting the truth – some parents do not communicate or pay enough attention to their children. Okay, I am not forgetting about other issues that influence this type of outcome such as child abuse, sexual assaults and the other horrendous crimes that plague our children. I’m trying to emphasize those things that we can prevent or have some control over.
Our children have to understand that we love them unconditionally and that they can talk to us about anything. We also have to talk to our children about sex and the repercussions that go along with making decisions to engage in sex. Otherwise, they may end up suffering dire consequences.
Sure, I took a sex education class in high school but I didn’t have enough knowledge to realize that I was pregnant and putting my son’s life in danger. High schools must take a more proactive approach to dealing with teen sex. Educating our children about sex does not mean we condone it. What we are doing is equipping them with the tools and information necessary to make rational decisions. The two young mothers in the news may have made better choices had they felt comfortable talking to their parents and been better educated about sexual reproduction.
If you are a pregnant teen
Don’t try to handle this alone. If you are trying to conceal your pregnancy, you may be placing yourself and your baby in danger. Talk to your parents or a trusted adult. Seek medical assistance immediately. There are numerous social service agencies and clinics in your area to assist you if need be. Plan to visit your doctor’s office at least once a month in the beginning. Your physician will talk to you about any physical and emotional changes that may occur. He/she will also determine how often your visits will occur. Be honest with your doctor and inform him/her of any medical issues or concerns. Get plenty of rest, eat right, exercise and please do not smoke, take drugs or drink alcohol.
Conclusion
This is a social issue and it affects everyone. This is not something that we can just sweep under the rug or pass judgment about. Our government, social service agencies and schools need to incorporate ways to help teen mothers so they don’t find themselves facing criminal charges. I am an advocate for teen pregnancy awareness campaigns but they need to be more comprehensive.
Resources on the Web
http://www.healthyteennetwork.org/
http://www.teenbreaks.com/pregnancy/pregnancyhome.cfm
Written By: Arlether Wilson, Author of “Rewriting the Script”
Filed under: What About the Children? | Tagged: birth, fourteen year old mother, hiding pregnancy, pregnancy, school, teen, teen pregnancy, teenager
Hey Arlether, long time no see! I stopped by to say great piece, it gives something to think about and it shows we have to do a better job teaching sex education to our kids. Much success to you!